Headshots.

Last week I had my first ever experience shooting headshots for someone. Having done plenty of portrait work I felt somewhat comfortable, but as always during the shoot I was sure it would all go wrong. Since I do not have a studio I invited Steve to my apartment. I felt quite professional explaining that the doorbell was the one on the side of the intercom labeled "fox box," the name so lovingly given to our home.

Steve was great to work with, very friendly and totally comfortable, even though he swore his fake smile was no good. Thankfully the sun was shining bright that day and my backyard comes equipped with some nice walls, so in the end the shoot went quite well.

The Holidays

Easy Peasy

I just made a coconut walnut chocolate bar and it was SO EASY. Three ingredients, three steps. I'm also planning on making my own tea blends. This is making me realize that being creative and making things sometimes is NOT that difficult. For this reason, I will not give into my misconceptions that I don't have enough time to make anything, or that I am too tired. Also, it makes me much more excited for cold winter days spent in my apartment, whirling things together into fun.

Another thought I just had about tea: A good black tea is very soothing to me because it reminds me of late nights talking to my mom in high school when she would make us both Lipton tea with sugar. At the time it felt so warm and comforting, but as I get older I realize that it was also probably my moms attempt to stay awake with her exhausting daughter. It's funny how your perspective changes as you grow up (and this really only makes me appreciate my mom more).

Thank you

for this giving.

Dear Friends/Readers

This is a post about you. See, I would like your input on something that I have been thinking a lot about lately. Although few of you comment (a faithful few friends whom I quite like), my site meter account tells me that many many more of you are reading what I post. In that case, I ask that you consider coming from the woodwork and giving me your opinion.

Here is the thing:

I have been challenged quite a lot this summer with whether or not people can really change. This is an issue that is of great importance to many things I believe, including how to trust others, and what to expect of myself.

In "Walden" Thoreau touches on this as he writes:

"I confess, that practically thinking, when I have learned a man's real disposition I have no hopes of changing it for the better or the worse in this state of existence. As the Orientals say, 'A cur's tail may be warmed, and pressed and bound round with ligatures, and after a twelve years' labor bestowed upon it, still it will retain it's natural form.' The only effectual cure for such inveteracies as these tails exhibit is to make glue of them . . ."

Along with whether or not we can actually change our nature, is the issue that is seems only a very few people are able to hold to, and diligently pursue what they believe. Most people comfortably confess their array of opinions that should naturally distinguish them from others, while living in lifestyle camouflage. So why are some people (like Thoreau or Ghandi or Mother Theressa), more inclined to actually do what they say , while others like myself are passive idealists. Are some more inclined, and the others unable to change?


Here is my question, if you have gotten this far, to you my Reader. Do you think that you actually do what you say? Do you think that it is possible to fully pursue the things you believe? Finally, are some people simply naturally more inclined than others to pursue the change they hope to see in themselves and the world?

To Get Away

It has been both a smooth and unsteady transition into the city. Maybe like a continual ebb of comfort and uncertainty. Primarily, though, I have been quite glad to be here, finding myself actually pursuing the things that I had determined to in my dreams of moving.
One thing that has been difficult, and actually probably the most difficult, is my trying to stay in one place when my heart really desires to get out and explore at a moments notice, at almost every moment. Last week I decided that in order to maintain my sanity I would take the train into the mountains north of the city. This turned out to be very good for my soul, and the company of my friend Janelle only added to the greatness.
While we were in what we renamed "Quaintsville," we ate by a pond, spoke to some nuns at a convent, and walked through a yellow forest. There was a creative learning preschool in the woods where we walked, and I had an overwhelming urge to go apply for a job. Unfortunately, the school was closed for the day.

I know it's silly

It's just food, and I know some people who would think that to be so excited about such a simple thing is unnecessary, but I say that those who find joy in the simple things can find the most joy in the profound.

This is my lunch. It is pretty close to the exact same thing that I make most days. A grilled sandwich. The difference today is that I used locally grown, organic vegetables that I picked up at the farmers market yesterday. You guys. . it made SUCH A DIFFERENCE. The bell pepper not only looked amazing, all multi-colored and marbled red and orange, but it SMELLED LIKE A BELL PEPPER. Also, I kind of have trouble with how much I cook things. Generally, I don't know when to stop and my tomatoes are mushy and my bread is a little black. Today: perfection. And, because it is rainy and cold out I made a little mug of mulled wine, which was not over-spiced or over-sweetened.

The howling wind and falling rain outside is in perfect opposition to the candles and little warm lunch inside.