things that are no more

I no longer work at the Coffee Bean and Tea leaf. In fact, today as I entered my employee numbers into the cash register a screen popped up that stated simply, "employee terminated."
No more entering "half-caff," "half-powder," "no foam," "no sugar added," modifications. No more calling out names that the cashier entered wrong like "Michelle," instead of, "Michael." No more making Lee's large no-sugar added blended mocha, extra thick, with a domed lid and the extra inside. No more making Dana's large lavendar mint tea latte with one scoop of vanilla. No more Suzie, with her kind southern accent, who brings in her dad and sits outside with him while he smokes a cigar.
Then again, no more weird morning guy who comes in and takes his own ice from our ice-maker.

Anyway.

It's strange when things are no more. Soon living in this house will be no more.

It will happen as long as we live until everything that can be will be no more, and all else will be forever.

traffic

I've decided that losing love is like pruning a branch of the soul.

thank you

for birthday wishes.



picnics, beverages, music, encouragement, laughter, black, pie, art, presence, me-time, messages, letters, crescent moon, hugs, smiles, friendship.

all greatly appreciated.


"I count myself in nothing else so happy As in a soul remembering my good friends." -Whilliam Shakespeare

self awareness

Tonight the city lights shimmered more brightly than usual. Clearness of air allowed a view of the city that would make any passerby want to stop and gaze for a minute or year. My car drove me swiftly through the buildings that rose like mountains, glently up and quickly down. Suddenly my thoughts were of lofts, cafes, dinner parties, and afternoons walking with friends.

I consider myself to be like a lot of people in this way. My heart seems naturally inclined to have all these hopes, desires and passions. They are things I often think will never happen, or am unsure of they might be done.

One of the biggest things I've hoped for in the last few years of my life is independance. Since high school I have wanted to live on my own, buy my own groceries, have a job, and have my own life. This week has been somewhat of a realization of my lacking in this. My roommate moved out and I can't pay my own rent. My job is part time, and unimpressive. Only my groceries are really my own, but my bread got moldy yesterday.

As I considered all this, I realized that it is good. Humbling. My whole life should be one of dependancy, if not on humans, then on God. While feeling a bit set back (and not even rightly so), I also feel like I'm being trained. For this time, I am dependant on people, and it will teach me forever to be dependant on God.


Praise God.

good things happen in Texas.

Some key events/quotes from my recent trip to Texas:

1. Running into (almost literally) a friend from school in Blythe, CA; population 10

2. Hearing men at a truck stop in Texas complain about dinner not being ready for them when they get home

3. After rain has been falling on the windsheild for about 5 minutes, Sandra (the driver): "Is it raining?"

4. Me: "Sanra, do you need to sleep?" . . .as I veer off the road.

5. Being pulled over twice. . and getting ZERO tickets.

6. Sandra offering the police man chips while he's questioning me

7. Telling the police man that officers in Thailand didn't give me speeding tickets becuase they are so nice, just like in Texas, right??

8. Me: "You know, it really wouldn't be so bad to fall asleep at the wheel." (we were in the desert. . i mean really. . there's nothing to hit.)

9. Creating an art installation in the car.



so. Texas. 25 hour drive, and good times.